I embraced you
Like I would a new religion
My faith in you grew like an unperturbed mountain
There were times when I tossed around
like a ship in a turbulent storm
yet I clung to the sails of your arms
Believing, like God, you would save me
Who would have thought despite our closeness
I could lose you
Until I cannot see you or smell you or even talk to you.
Your image appears to me like a monument
It is there but it is not alive.
Unwilling to be deceived, I look for your shadow
To see if I am blocking you from the sun
But all I can see is a pattern of myself
And you are not there
I tried to find excuses for your disappearance
I lied to myself that perhaps,
You had slipped under my skin;
became my sweat along with my blood
So I rubbed my hands to see if you would appear.
I thought I had been cruel,
perhaps greedy and selfish
That while breathing unconsciously
I inhaled you from the air
I tried to spit you out from my mouth
I wanted to feel you and taste you again
but I could not
Not ever could I regain consciousness of your presence
All my attempts to resurrect you,
re-enact you in my life failed miserably
I forgot that you are merely human,
not an angel
You are not God
neither are you a spirit.
That being human, you could have died.
That you could have left, without saying goodbye.